ever heard this?

AT LAST by Nance J O'Donnell Monday, November 03, 2008 Not rated by the Author. Self Awareness, Self forgiving, Self healing

At, last, discover, brighter life At last, comfort, no longer strife At last, minds' peace, found At last, heard, mother natures sound. At last, actions no longer careless At last, soul awakens, new awareness At last, pain subsides, not fester At last, memories, down to whisper At last, brain ceases tug of war At last, no need to even score At last, winner, stand, undefeated At last, no reason, to fight, completed. At last, mind forever free At last, found key to discovery At last, heart, happy, singing At last, a vision, new beginning. found this poem online, I saw a book at Barnes and Noble the other day about healing through writing, i think i'll buy that book

the rain

the rain was a gift

washing away some of my sorrow

the rain was a gift

showing me that rebirth was imminent

the rain

surprised me

the water falling on my face and hands

washing me clean of the darkness that is clouding my thoughts

the impossible is possible

and if it is meant to be it will happen

faith is necessary

when he said goodbye,

my heart screamed like a banshee

but it was my soul that left

I am like Pandora's box

all of my faults and miseries strewn out amongst everyone

shown to the world

and Hope

only Hope

remains inside me

will she be enough?

will the flicker of that star get me through?

My love is unblinking and it remembers his face

full of love and sorrow

will that fade?

will i never see that look in your eyes again?

Hope flickers in my heart

but I can't allow myself to hold on too tight

or i will destroy her

like i've destroyed myself, so many times.

the finish

leaving work

leaving all of the things that i know daily, the comfort zone. the things i'm used to

it's absolutely terrifying to leave all of that behind

but that's the bargain that we make to get something better right?

only what if it isn't better?

and i've made a mistake

jeez i hope not, because I won't be welcome back they've made that clear

oh my goodness

here it goes

end of the line

things i want to do:

design a line

build a house

go to greece

live in japan

get married

be a trainer

be a bartender

get more tattoos

cook a five course meal

lose 20 lbs

love like never before

adopt or get a german shorthaired pointer

be strong enough to move on my own

donate blood

volunteer my time

perform my all time favorite musicals

record a song

write a short story collection

write a novel

get published

start anew

going into a new situation is always tough

but often you know it's for the best

putting yourself out there, taking a risk

is the best way to get something better than what you have

sure, sometimes you get hurt

but if you don't put yourself out there, you'll never know what could have been

this applies to so many things, but right now

it's for a job

hope it works out

exhaustion

the end of the rope, so tired that waking up just doesn't even seem like a possibility. i've worked myself into a state of near coma, barely waking, barely able to function, God it's like being a zombie. horrible